Moving From Square One
The debate on abortion rages on. There’s an interesting cycle with abortion, at least in the media. The issue seems to boil over in its coverage, then disappear. The truth is though, I don’t think it ever really drops below a simmering. New events simply seem to spring the issue back into headlines, inspiring people to pick up where they left off and contend for acceptance of their perspective. What is frustrating is that despite these short rests from battle, the argument seems to always be on square one. It never progresses to a new starting point, a place in which new ground can be broken and perhaps increase the small chance of our arguments bearing fruit.
The irony is not lost on me that I am writing an article about abortion and how our conversations never seem to go anywhere. I am aware that my voice may never be heard by anyone outside the choir, but continue preaching I must.
Recent news was made about my hometown, specifically a hotel offering free nights to those seeking an abortion. This is incredibly surprising, both because Yale, MI only has a population of about 2,000 and is pretty conservative. Nothing really makes news there, not even our self-proclaimed “world famous” Bologna Festival! Glossing over the fact that my hometown celebrates bologna, the Yale Hotel has quite possibly created the biggest news story the city has ever seen. All that to say, this is a lot to process and as the media cycle goes, I’m inspired to take up arms again.
I am against abortion, an opinion that continues to lose support. I recognize this is an unpopular stance and I am at peace with that. What I am not as tranquil about is that I find myself explaining to others the basic premise of almost all pro-life arguments: that we believe that the fetus is a human life and therefore should be constitutionally protected. We can debate that premise all we want, but why is that not understood yet? Even more confounding, how? And it goes the other way, too. How do my pro-life peers not understand that most pro-choice advocates do not perceive a fetus to be a human life and therefore have no ethical qualms with terminating a pregnancy? Again, we can debate that point until we turn blue. At least that would be a new, refreshing starting point for future conversations about abortion.
Instead, I’m forced to continue to start from scratch on why I think abortion should not be legal. That quickly evolves into a defense of why I am not a monster for thinking so, how I’m not against women’s rights, and how I also care for people post-birth. It is tiresome to repeat the same thing over and over, only to have the recipient not hear or understand you. Yet because the issue is of such a magnitude, I cannot allow fatigue or complacency to overtake me. Based on the aforementioned premise, what would it mean for me morally to stop? To truly believe lives are being taken away and to stop fighting because my voice grows weary?
I do not fight to win an argument. I do not raise my voice to feel important. I cry out because abortion advocates inadvertently communicate to me that I should not exist. My mother was high on heroin when she gave birth to me. She had been in and out of jail, as well her relationship with her husband (who was not my father). She was poor and had other children, including one who died from SIDS (which was likely rooted in her drug use). My life, my very being is the picture of why such a life should not exist. And yet it does not match the disfigurement so many pro-choice advocates envision. My life is not theoretical. I am flesh and blood, a living look at what happens when someone is born into such horrible circumstances: a husband, father, friend. A person in a post grad degree program working full-time, investing in the lives of students. These arguments feel personal because they are personal.
I am not naïve. I do not pretend that my life and how it has played out is the norm for those starting from similar places. It just doesn’t matter. Whether I had the life I currently live or if I had Down Syndrome, or if I was a criminal sitting in our prison system, I deserve to live. And for those who do have Down Syndrome, you deserve life even if humanity’s medical practices say otherwise. For those in our judicial system, you have dignity as a person and your choices do not change your validity in this world. For all those who currently live in the often-used theoretical situations, whether it be the foster child awaiting adoption or the one stuck in an abusive home: I am glad you exist and are here today. Surely, we must strive to make everyone’s situations better as much as we are able. It is grievous however to demand that people only have the right to exist if all circumstances are ideal.
While it is disheartening to hear that folks in my own hometown feel otherwise, I try to understand them. I have strived to understand others by listening to them, even if I disagree with them. It is essential to listen if we ever want to get anywhere in our discussions on weighty matters like this. This offer was made out of compassion for women who are in tough spots in life and are seeking to ease that burden. I have seen this care and compassion firsthand. When my nephew passed away in 2018, the people at the Yale Hotel provided our family a place to gather and eat, free of charge I understand. This was a tremendous act of kindness in our deep mourning and we felt loved and supported by them. It is a simplistic view to write off these people as monsters who are supporting the murder of children. What I feel is lost in this compassion and care for women facing hardship is the love and care that is cast aside for the unborn.
Similarly, please do not write me off (or others) in another simplistic manner. Hear me then when I say that I am not against women’s rights. I am simply prioritizing what I see as the greatest right a person has over an important liberty another person has. One of our foundational philosophies in America is that you have the right to the pursuit of happiness, and that necessarily means that you cannot override another person’s right. That pursuit to happiness was one of the major reasons why Abraham Lincoln felt slaves were entitled to equal rights. You may not agree with me on all that, but if we at least begin to understand the basis from which we argue, perhaps we can begin to have fruitful conversations. Perhaps then we can stop circling and start proceeding towards real solutions. The media sensation will go back to a simmer. I’ll still be here regardless, speaking for as long as I can muster for those who cannot offer up their own voice. I’ll be ready for when it inevitably boils again, but hopefully starting from square two.
